Dear Mark Ingram,
I offer my heart felt sympathy to you and your knee. I have really missed you lately. Long time, no see, man. So...I would like to make you an offer you can't refuse.
My meniscus. Or my whole knee. Take your pick. You=need healthy meniscus. I=need an excuse to not go to the gym + want to see you play Saturday (90% want to see you play, 10% want to be lazy).
I may not have your quads, hammies, or fast twitch muscles, but I love to watch you run, so I know my knee would treat you well and work very hard while your original knee recovers to its full Heisman glory.
I'm not sure if this agreement violates any NCAA rules, so we will keep it just between us. I would like an autograph, however. And maybe a hug.
So think about it, let me know what you decide, and I will be anxiously awaiting your return to the gridiron.
Your friend,
A.
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